Shorty

This vintage tie from Giofer of Italy is unusually short, at just 50" long (today's standard length is 57"). I think it may have been meant as a boys' tie, but I was able to tie it into an almost-reasonable length (though the tail end did not reach as far as the keeper, so I had to use a handy-dandy pants clip to keep it tucked in). This tie will never be mistaken for a Pucci, but it probably wouldn't have existed without the Marchese's trailblazing designs.

In the absence of anything constructive to say about this tie (I know, that never stopped me before), I would like to address the two most common objections to the wearing of neckties:

1. "They're uncomfortable." That's ridiculous, a tie just hangs on the outside of your shirt, how could that be uncomfortable? The uncomfortable part is not the tie, but the shirt collar when buttoned all the way up. If that is uncomfortable, then you're wearing the wrong size shirt. Get one with a bigger neck size. Unfortunately that usually means every other dimension of the shirt will be bigger; if you end up swimming in the shirt, try on some "fitted" or "trim" or "athletic" sizes. Or if you like being enveloped in voluminous swathes of fabric, that's cool too. A collar extender will also do the trick (it fastens to the top button, then has another button that goes through the top buttonhole), though some are more discreet than others.

2. "It feels too much like a uniform." Not all ties are the same! They don't have to be boring! (I hope I have demonstrated that on these pages.) There's enough variety in neckwear that surely something will appeal to you. Check out ebay, there are 13,000 ties up for auction and another 33,000 for immediate sale, most for much cheaper than retail! Besides, if you're in a "business casual" workplace I think you will agree that the polo shirt is even more of a uniform these days. (And Pretty Lady hates them, by the way.) Let your freak flag fly!